I know I have stated this fact quite a few times but its something worth repeating. I do not see my experiences or life story as anything any greater than anyone else’s life story. Everyone has a struggle and a story and its up to everyone else to understand this.

I read an interesting quote a couple of days ago that has had me writing this particular post in my head for a few days. It said, There is someone out there looking at your life wondering how to be like you. Take a moment and reflect on this.

Could someone really be out there looking at you and wondering how to get to where you are? My life isnt special, I am not anything special. Why would someone want my life?

I thought about this question pretty hard for a very specific reason I will discuss later but I would like to discuss my thoughts on someone wanting my life. At first I thought it was not a possibility I am a broken person with bad PTSD from war and from a fire that tried to take my life. I am physically broken, emotionally hurt, and mentally drained as a person from everything I have been through yet after some thought I realized more than once in the past few years Ive had people tell me they wish they were more like me.

Having been a Marine for years I had the privilege of leading many young men and because Facebook exists I have  been able to keep track of many of them. I always find it surprising when one of them reaches out and says thank you. I was doing my job but so many of them have reached out over the years and told me how they wanted to be more like me as a Marine and a leader. As a matter of fact since the accident so many of them have reached out and told me they wanted the strength I had to make it through.

Speaking of the accident. I was able to make it through that in an unprecedented quick time. I was told by more than one person in the Burn Unit they wished they had my fortitude to make it and will myself through recovery.

I have been married sixteen years. No wait seriously SIXTEEN YEARS. If you knew me in my early twenties you would say no freaking way he made it that long or no way she stayed with that quack job that long. Its true sixteen years later and still going. You know how many people look at our marriage and say wow I wish I had that. We take it for granted and have our little fights but honestly a fight over a mis said or mis heard word is so much better than a fight over a mis tress.

I have four beautiful smart and tall babies. I have heard the sidelines of sports team moms saying wow I wish my kid was like one of my kids (Usually Timmy but I’ve heard the other names too.) What do you feed those kids and how much do they practice that are common questions. Along with they do that too?

I could go on and the point of this is not to show how great my life is but is more of an exercise. I read that statement and said Nah not me people dont want to be like me. Then I thought about it. Yeah people dont want the trauma or pain hut they want the resilience and wisdom that comes with it. They dont want the tribulations but they want the patience it taught.

I got to thinking about this as I pondered death. If you have read my previous posts you know Ive had issues with suicide and suicidal thoughts in the past and one of my biggest wants in life is to figure our how to prevent suicide in the military veteran community. This thought of remember that someone else wants to have your life struck me a little differently. How could someone see this and want it? Was I doing them wrong by ending it short?

I think about Jesus and him telling us to be a light and I wonder how big of a loss it is to snuff out that light early and not help other to shine around us. The greatest thing a man can do is teach other men to shine brighter than themselves. I recently found a bunch of men that have helped me to shine brighter myself and it has changed my life for the better. I now just want to help others to shine brighter.

I wonder if your having issues today with suicide or just self doubt. Maybe you should look at your life and think has anyone said anything good about my life or something in my life lately. You would be surprised how many of you will start seeing large parts of your life are admired and imitated by others. Your work ethic or your heart for others. Maybe the way you raise your kids or dogs. Something about you is admired by those around you I promise you that. Especially my Veteran Brothern you have more to give those around you than most. Just because the days of kicking doors are behind us doesn’t mean we are done serving the community. I dare you to look around and see who is paying attention to you because someone is and you not being here will cause them to question themselves too.

Remember above all else you mean more to those here than you ever will to yourself so look around and contemplate who is admiring me so I dont let them down by doing something dumb.