Back in February, a Goliath deal happened in the world of basketball. A player who was a consensus top 3 player in the game was traded. Now, this might not move the meter of most of your brains, but I want you to understand this is a kid who was not thinking when he woke up in his newly bought 15 million dollar mansion that he would be on a plane that evening to a new home. This kid pretty much had his life ripped up in front of him.

So fast forward a couple weeks, and he’s about to take the floor for the first time, and his new partner is LeBron James. A name all of us know. LeBron, in the huddle, looks at this kid who is just a mess mentally trying to figure out what he did wrong. He looks at him and says (PG version) “Don’t fit in, Fit Out!”

Why does this matter to me, and why am I talking about basketball? Well, let’s rewind quite a few years when a special player was playing with a little bit younger but still old LeBron. LeBron looked at him and said something along the lines of “Fit in or Get Out!”

What made his statements different? If you ask me, it’s age and experience. I would have been one to tell people to fit in or get out myself in the past. This is actually a battle I have with myself all the time. I got into coaching kids for my own children but fully understand I am a voice in the life of multiple kids each season. I have learned that each child is a little different, and what works with one does not work with the next one.

I would love to write a book about how to train a team or how to make a team work, but it would be a short book because I have not yet learned how to deal with all kids. I have yet to take all strong-willed kid and turn them into team player who win. I have yet to take all timid kids and make them aggressive. I have turned some kids into better players. One thing I would love to say is I have turned all kids. I’ve had the chance to coach into better people, but that isn’t true. The truth is that I’ve learned this in trial and error so far.

I stay coaching because I want my kids to get every chance to shine in sports. I want them to know that sports is a great way to learn to work with others. It’s a great way to learn trust and teamwork. I also have been learning to grow up myself. I find myself in that middle of LeBron career statement of fit in or get out. What I am trying to turn myself into is a coach who lets kids fit out and it works.

I am not talking about just letting a kid go crazy on the field and doing whatever. I’m talking about letting kids’ personalities shine and letting them be who they are. I have tried to shove my own daughter into a box and make her play my way. When I let her make some choices and let her  choose her path, she did so much better.

I have written on my Facebook that I saw what a truly positive coach looks like on the sidelines now  after playing the most positive coach I’ve met. It was a wake up call. I need to learn to be that coach who let’s his team fit out and be strong in who they are.

We all need to look around and realize it’s not our job to fit into the reality around us. It’s our job to fit out and be who we are not who everyone wants us to be.