Why? My question every time that phone rings, and I get the news another brother is no longer with us. The outside world will never understand the bond we have and never will.

The bond of those of us that went to hell and back together is unbreakable and one that can not be explained to others. Not long ago, I was having a discussion with my kids, sparked by me, showing my wife a picture of a couple of kids of a brother we hadn’t seen in years but have been fans of their kids all their lives. I had to explain to my children that they had thousands of uncles and aunts they will probably never meet in their lives but cheer everything they do on. If they knew how many of my brothers knew their names and even cheered them when they went to a swim meet or play a soccer game, it would blow their minds. I’ve watched so many kids grow up over Facebook. As a matter of fact, one had a baby the other day, and so I immediately texted the new Pop Pop and said, “Congrats,” Funny part is that’s not the first grandkids in My circle of brothers.

This bond is what makes it so hard for us to lose one of our own. The natural loss of one is hard enough to take. I remember the first time I heard one of our own had died in an accident, and I was devastated as could be, and sadly, that was not the first one of those. I was also one of those accidental deaths a couple of years ago, and the boys did not fail me. When I woke up my wife had a list of people I needed to call and let know I was alright because so many of my brothers had reached out to her to check on her to make sure she had what she needed and to see if I was going to make it. Those messages and conversations I had when I first woke from my coma are what got me in the correct mindset to start beating every possible time frame and expectation for me. I knew I had so many people in my corner ready to go to war with me.

The feeling of having hundreds of people behind me has kept me going in hard times. I want to let all those in my same shoes to see that support system they have also. It is easy to forget that system and I have before in the past, but after my accident, I saw it again, and it has reenergized me toward working to help those with PTSD to deal with the demons and live a productive life.